By Samantha
A poor young boy names Dallas Winston got shoot down by six cops. Dally was a trouble maker in and out of jail. He has been out of jail for about a week.
One night after the Greasers won a rumble Dally went to the hospital to visit his friend Johnny Cade. They visited for a few minutes before Johnny pasted away. Dallas was under a lot of pressure and was about ready to explode. He was pretty messed up after he saw Johnny pass.
He ran out the emergency room doors and had a doctor tell him he wasn't supposed to be there and Dallas pulls out an unloaded gun and pointed it at the doctor and fired it! Thankfully the gun was empty. Dallas went to a store and was looking at some magazines for a really long time. The manager asked him if he was going to buy one. Dally took as magazine and ripped in half. The clerk demanded him to pay for it but he refuse. He walked up to the clerk with is gun and took the money. He started to run out when the clerk started shooting at him.
The clerk hit the boy but the boy just kept running. Dally finally got to a pay phone and called his friends and told them to meet in the park. Dallas and his friends both took off heading for the park. Dallas reached the park first then the cops. Dallas pointed his gun at them and they fired. His friends where there rite after their gun shot. They screamed at the cops he is just o boy stop shooting. It was too late the cops already fired six shots in to poor young Dallas Winston.
Name of Critic – Heist
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Samantha
Positive Comments – You have a great writing style. I enjoy reading what you write. Keep up the good work.
Things the author could have done better – My only complaint is that you chose a very strange headline.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? You aren't missing anything, you did a good job including all of the important facts.
Name of Critic – Jesus
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Samantha
Positive Comments – Cool and the headline is awesome.
Name of Critic – Emma
ReplyDeletePositive Comments – You did a good job.
Things the author could have done better – She misspelled a couple words.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog?
Name of Critic – Magie
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Samantha
Positive Comments – It's long with a lot of details.
Things the author could have done better – She should of checked for misspelled words and punctuation.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? none
Name of Critic – dylan
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – samantha
Positive Comments – lots of details and very discriptive.
Things the author could have done better – there is misspled words.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? yes,when