By Jesus
A man named Dallas Winston was shot down at Loomington Park after running from the police. Minutes before Dallas was killed he robbed a store and threatened to shoot the cashier. His friends showed were running down the street towards Dallas while he was being shot at. After Dallas was shot dead his friends stood over him. They looked very upset and angry. The gun that Dallas had was unloaded. Dallas was shot 2 times in the chest.
Name of Critic –Lupita
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog –Jesus
Positive Comments –
It was good that you explained how he was shot and where.
Things the author could have done better –
You should have re-read what you wrote. I think it was a little too short so next time use more details.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog?
You are missing when.
he Name of Critic –isai
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – jesus
Positive Comments – is cool and he got all the ws and the h
Things the author could have done better – make it longer and and more detailed
What (if any) items were missing from the blog?
Name of Critic – dylan
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – jesus
Positive Comments – most of the things needed are given and there is some details.
Things the author could have done better – made it longer and include allof what is needed.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? when