By Emma
Last night October 2, 1968 there was a deadly fight at the park in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It was around 10 pm. Ponyboy Curtis and Johnny Cade were walking through the park on their side of town when some Socs showed up.
Bob Hill and Randy Smudgens and two more kids that were not identified picked a fight with Johnny and Ponyboy. Bob and Randy were upset with the boys because they had been with their girlfriends earlier. The Socs were drowning Ponyboy in the fountain and Johnny didn't know what to do. He pulled out his switch blade and stabbed and killed Bob Hill. The rest of Bob's friends ran away after that happened.
The police have been investigating and asking their friends and family where Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis might run away to. They got an answer from Dallas Winston that they were headed for Texas. The police are going to try to find their trail!
Name of Critic – Dylan k
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Emma
Positive Comments – there is lots of details and
The five w's and the how is all included.
Things the author could have done better – There should be the word and in the first sentence of the second paragraph.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? None were missing
Name of Critic –Jonathan
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog –Emma
Positive Comments – It has a good headline that won't confuse anyone.
Things the author could have done better – She could have found out what Bob's real last name is.
Name of Critic – Chad Braun
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Emma Howe
Positive Comments – Interesting, and about the perfect length. Got all 5 W and the H.
Things the author could have done better –
Coulda found their real last names.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog?
Commaz.
Name of Critic –Lupita
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Emma
Positive Comments –
I liked how detailed your story was and that you used everyone's names you knew.
Things the author could have done better –
You could have moved your last paragraph up or wrote more at the end.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog?
Name of Critic –SAmantha
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Emma
Positive Comments – I like how its exciting an d has a lot of detail.
Things the author could have done better – THere isnt really anything i think you could of changed.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? Nothing was missing from what i saw
Name of critic-Jacob
ReplyDeleteName of author-Emma
Positive comments- All is good in the hood
Name of Critic –kenneth
ReplyDeleteName of author-Emma
Positive comments- it was ok
Name of Critic – Nefer
ReplyDeleteAuthor of blog – Emma
Positive Comments – She covered all of the 5 w's and told how it happened.
Things the author could have done better – i don't know, It's good the way it is.
What (if any) items were missing from the blog? None!